Family Talk

Family is important to God. When we are Baptised we are welcomed into the family of the Church. God has a plan and purpose for each of your families, and parts of that plan are different for each family. The best way to discover what that plan entails is to put Jesus at the centre of our family life. John Paul II said that “God’s purpose for family is that it be a school of love, it be an environment where different members of the family can love and be loved by another.”

Gary Chapman wrote a book called the 5 love languages. In this book it shows how there are 5 different ways of showing love. Each one of these ways is good in and of itself, but in order for a family to truly grow together, all five of them should be present in some form.

1. Quality family time. – time for full and undivided attention.

                                      - both serious and fun. E.g. meals, prayers, outings, Mass

2. Positive speech – Verbal compliments, affirmations, appreciations are powerful communicators of love. These bring honour, respect and acceptance. Frequent putdowns such as sarcasm can bring pain and self doubt. Forgiveness helps to avoid tension. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ and I forgive you are very useful. Politeness is also very useful and indispensable for making living together easier.

3. Gifts – These are a visible symbol of love. The thought behind the gift is most important. The gift of faith is the greatest gift we can give one another. It is free and will last an eternity. The Magi bring Jesus gifts at his birth: Gold, frankincense and myrrh. Who knows what Jesus would have done with these gifts? Gifts are not a substitute or replacement for other ways of showing love.

4. Physical touch – touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Hugs, pats on the back, hand on a shoulder all ways to show that we care for each other.

5. Service – Jesus said that he came to serve and not to be served. He washed the feet of his disciples to show how far he was willing to be a servant. Service is doing something you don’t want to do in order to make life easier for someone else.

God wants to be number one in our families. As a communion of persons, the future of humanity passes by way of the family. Brian Butler once told his fiancée, that he wanted to put God first, her second and himself last in the relationships in his life. She wasn’t too happy to hear this- as she wanted to be number one! But we must ask, “What does Jesus want for our family?” Paul tells us that we should “fill our minds with everything that is true, everything that is noble, everything that is good and pure, everything that we love and honour, and everything that can be thought virtuous or worthy of praise.” (Phil 4:8).